Networking as Leadership: Position Yourself as the Expert, Not the order taker
- Bobby & Lisa Campbell
- Mar 6
- 4 min read
Updated: Mar 21
Networking is often misunderstood. Too many business owners approach it with a mindset of scarcity—pitching, persuading, and soliciting in a desperate bid to "close the deal." But here’s the truth: effective networking isn’t about convincing someone to join you. It’s about establishing yourself as an expert, determining mutual fit, and leading with value. When done right, it’s not a transaction—it’s a process of influence that scales leadership, not just revenue.
Let's outline a proven approach to networking that shifts you from lack mode to authority mode. It’s about positioning yourself as the one who brings greater options to people’s lives, then facilitating a respectful, open conversation to see if there’s alignment. Let’s break it down.
The Mission: Own Your Position
Your mission in networking is to embody the role of the expert—the person who’s been where others want to go. This isn’t about arrogance; it’s about confidence in the value you bring. Think of it like this: you’re the driver of a car headed to a destination others aspire to reach. They can hop in, but they don’t take the wheel—because they don’t know the way yet. Your job is to establish that authority naturally, without forcing it.
Contrast this with the common mistake: slipping into "solicitation mode." When you pitch or try to convince someone, you hand over your power. The candidate becomes the decision-maker, and you’re left being wagging like the tail instead of leading the dog. Instead, adopt this posture: “I may be able to help you, let’s see…” It’s open, curious, and positions you as the facilitator—not the beggar.
The Objective: Determine Fit
If your mission is the position, your objective is the outcome: determining fit. This isn’t about selling someone on your business—it’s about discovering whether you can genuinely help them, and whether they’re ready to follow your lead. Fit isn’t forced; it’s revealed through conversation. You ask questions, listen deeply, and assess whether your expertise aligns with their goals. Only then can you move forward together.
Get this wrong, and the dynamic flips. If you’re pitching instead of qualifying, the candidate won’t respect your authority. Without that respect, you can’t have the objective conversations needed to assess fit. The process falls apart.
Influence, Not Transactions
This approach draws inspiration from Blair Enns’ Win Without Pitching Manifesto. Enns argues that professionals should stop acting like vendors chasing approval and start acting like experts diagnosing needs. You don’t pitch—you consult. You don’t persuade—you influence. The goal isn’t a quick sale; it’s a relationship where both parties grow. When you network this way, you’re not just building a business—you’re scaling leadership, creating a path for succession, and helping others develop into leaders themselves.
Workflows and Whyflows: The How and Why of Networking
To make this practical, we use two tools: workflows (the "what" you do) and whyflows (the "why" behind it). Together, they form a system that keeps you in the driver’s seat while fostering learning and connection.
Workflow: The Steps
Start with a Question: Open with something curious and open-ended, like, “What’s the biggest challenge holding you back right now?”
Listen and Reflect: Hear their response, then mirror it back to show you understand (e.g., “So it sounds like you’re stuck on X…”).
Share a Story: Briefly mention how you’ve helped someone in a similar situation (e.g., “I worked with a friend who faced that, and here’s what we did…”).
Qualify with Questions: Dig deeper to assess fit (e.g., “What would success look like for you in the next year?”).
Decide Together: Collaboratively determine if there’s alignment to proceed (e.g., “Based on what you’ve said, here’s how I might help—does that make sense?”).
Whyflow: The Mindset
Why ask questions first? To position yourself as a guide, not a salesman, and to respect their autonomy.
Why listen and reflect? To build trust and show you’re not just waiting to pitch.
Why share a story? To establish authority subtly—letting them see your value without bragging.
Why qualify with questions? To maintain control of the conversation while empowering them to share their needs.
Why decide together? To keep your authority intact while ensuring they feel heard, not sold.
The Payoff: Growth That Lasts
When you network this way, you avoid the traps of desperation and short-term wins. Candidates recognize you as someone who’s going where they want to be, and they trust you to lead. But it’s not just about them—it’s about you, too. By staying in the expert role, you create a dynamic where fit is clear, relationships are strong, and your business scales sustainably. You’re not just growing an organization; you’re growing leaders who can carry the torch forward.
Take the Wheel
Next time you network, ditch the pitch. Start with “I may be able to help you, let’s see…” and follow the workflow. Internalize the whyflow to stay grounded in your mission. You’ll find that determining fit becomes natural—and you’ll build something far more valuable than a sale: a legacy of leadership.
-Bobby Campbell
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